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Member | DakotaRisingMoon Windsor, ON, Canada posts 831 9:27 pm February 2, 2012
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I recently had an experience of empathy..Not the kind of empathy when you pretend to feel bad for people..etc
Anyway, so my teacher was talking about the Shafia murder case, and talking about polygamy..He also mentioned the controlling dad, and how the girls weren't suppose to wear perfume,makeup..etc People in our class made jokes such as "Do they take showers" (someone else says) "Yeah, but with clothes on!"..etc
It affected a muslim girl in our class.For no reason, I started to cry, and barely held it in enough. I didn't feel sad, or think anything.I was just randomly crying, without control
Plus, whenever I have migraines, there are always people around me with them (i.e. step mother, grandmother,step sister..etc)
Anyway, what are your experiences with empathy?
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Member | azure Canada posts 65 12:21 am February 3, 2012
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I've been an empath for as long as I can remember (I used to be a 'non-empath' and have since moved on to sit somewhere between 'impaired' and 'functional') and what you described is pretty much spot on. You experience the emotion but not necessarily feel it. It can get a bit annoying but on the plus side I've realized that it makes it easier for me to approach others and/or relate to them if they're feeling upset or ask me for help with a problem or something. But at the end of the day, I'm as tired as anything. Being social is extremely difficult for me. I can socialize but it's physically and mentally tiring. I used to–and still frequently do–have 'zone out' moments where my mind sort of curls in on itself to chill out for a bit. This happens a lot when I'm in a crowded restaurant or cafeteria or something. It doesn't help that I have Synesthesia as well, haha.
Also in my experience I've realized that it comes in handy when meeting new people. I use it as a way to sort of 'suss' someone out, as a sort of precautionary measure. But I've also realized that sometimes your emotions and someone else's can get all mushed together and confuse you. An example of this was when I was at work and ringing this man through. He was loud and obnoxious and was pressuring me to move quickly and I was becoming increasingly alarmed. A part of me realized he was scamming me out of fifty bucks (the total of his purchase) but I was just so stressed that I did all the money switches and changes he asked and sent him on his way (I did end up short fifty bucks when they counted the till at the end of the day. Argh). After, I realized that the nervousness and overwhelming need to hurry weren't my own feelings, they were his. He wanted to scam me and get out of there as quickly as possible. So did being an empath leave me open to being scammed? Maybe it made it a little easier but it could have happened to anyone. Generally though, it's fairly easy to tell apart your own emotions from a foreign one. At least in normal situations =P
This is a good article you could read if you're interested in empaths. http://www.eliselebeau.com/empaths Check out her childhood story. You may find you relate to a few things. I certainly did =)
Sorry for the long post! Whew!
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New Member | sunflower47 posts 1 7:37 pm March 18, 2012
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Hi, I'm new to this forum, and really really want to answer your question. I think I might be just a little bit empathic at least, but I haven't explored it much so I don't know for sure. I'm going to try to write this without giving too much away about myself… since this is the internet. But anyway, I moved to a new apartment, and it was kind of stressful for me. At around the same time, I basically had a broken foot, which was also very stressful. So when my mood started to go seriously down hill, I assumed it was stress and that it would clear itself up in time. As I got settled in my new place, I started feeling worse and worse, to the point where I would literally not sleep at all at night (I would be awake until about six or seven in the morning), and most of my time awake I would spend crying. My feelings got more intense, and I assumed I had depression. I could hardly motivate myself to do basic things sometimes.
Then one day, I was sitting in my bedroom, and feeling awful, so I decided to go for a run. I run like I breathe, so it's usually the answer to my problems. When I came back from that run, I literally felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I felt great, but at the same time, I got the impression something was off, or something was wrong. I found out that same day that the person living on the floor above me, literally living right above my own place, had committed suicide. I was pretty shocked. It was awful for everyone who lived in my building. After that, my sleeping problems cleared up within two days, and I didn't take anything other than some Valerian Root. (And this was after months of taking sleeping pills every night with no response) I didn't feel sickly or bad anymore. I don't know if I'm empathic, because I've never stopped to pay attention to it. But after this I'm not so sure.
I realize this is a longish post, and that it's a heavy topic, but I've been dying to talk to somebody about it. Looks like everyone here get's to be the lucky ones.
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Member | Athidal posts 644 3:44 pm March 19, 2012
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Sounds like a really bad experience you had there, Sunflower. Speaking as someone else who has had the occasional empathic experience, if you can, I'd highly recommend that you – and anyone else with empathy, really – take the time and effort to ward and shield the area where you live. At the very least, doing your own bedroom will help shut out the noise from other people and give you some peace.
To answer DakotaRisingMoon's question, I've really only had a few strong, clear-cut instances of empathy like she described – mostly I tend to hide behind shields. Anyway, once was when I was a kid going to some sort of school-based awards ceremony, and could feel the pride radiating off my Dad like he was a little sun. Another time was when I was a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding, and nearly broke down in tears during the wedding because I felt like I was losing my sister…even though I don't have any sisters. (It was her own sisters feeling that way.) Then there was the time at Christmas that my aunt was broadcasting how she intended to go outside and have a cigarette, then suggest the family start opening gifts when she came back in. (That's exactly what happened, too. Though come to think of it I guess that was more telepathy than empathy.) And then there was the time I was visiting my cousin near San Francisco, and we drove along a bridge past this island that was just **blazing** with invisible raw energy. When I asked him what was on the island, he replied that was where Alcatraz prison was. o_O Don't know if that counts as empathy, but it sure was strong!
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Member
| Lisa A.- Grey Eyes Pennsylvania posts 2499 8:59 pm April 21, 2012
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Dakota Moon Rising, that was a beautiful experience, though sad one– but it shows how we are one another- we are our brother's keeper no matter what religion a person is. You shared some of that Muslim girls' sadness. My pastor told me that this type of empathy comes from God's Spirit and that it is a form of prayer beyond your control where you are helping to carry a burden for someone who can't help themselves. It is a high honor to experience this . ( I feel a sadness for that Muslim girl as well- They are not understood but yet there is so much we can learn from them– one thing being modesty- both inner and outer modesty. Sadly, we Westerners often go the other extreme and can look like prostitutes.)
An elderly friend of mine who died last year shared with me how when she was young experienced part of the physical pain of someone in her family who was dying at that moment (and she hadn't known until after). She was on her bed writhing in pain for about 5 minutes ,then the pain left as fast as it came. Turned out that her loved one was dying at that same exact moment she felt this mysterious pain. She said God revealed to her that her spirit chose to share in that person's suffering so that they wouldnt have to suffer as much and it was a choice she made on another level that her conscious mind didn't remember.
hugs
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