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i hadn't heard that it offends them by calling them fae, as for fairy/faery I have heard that they do not like to be called that because fairy is in fairytale.

I've heard this too,on another site on the internet.I'm not sure if it's true but if im talking to the fae out loud i avoid saying "fairies" just to be on the safe side!

I usually say wee folk 

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Maybe it has to do with the feeling of generalization? Or over-simplification? Like if someone were to say "Look at those humans over there," we're not just humans in the broad sense — we have more specific, distinguishing features like race, gender, nationality, religion. Not as a way to separate ourselves, but as a way to describe our unique attributes. If a non-human being were to constantly refer to me as human-this and human-that I would get a little offended.

Though, this is coming from a human position, so I can only speculate. Maybe the term "faery" doesn't express enough dignity? Honestly, because of the conflicting and/or dated material available on faeries, the best thing to do might be to find out for yourself, get to know the fae for yourself.

Beibhinn said:

I have heard that it is bad luck to call them fairies/fae because they used to be gods at one time ( The Tuatha de Dannan)..I don't remember quite how this worked out though..anybody else heard this?

Like your sig btw Beib…:)

the Tuatha de Danaan are their ancestors, they are directly descended either purely or mixed or by several different energetic combinations between the Tuatha and the Formorians.

I do not feel any stringent connotation with the word faery, though I tend not to call them fairy's or fairie's, with the "i". When speaking with the queens, they usually refer to themselves as from a human perspective (like a nickname) as Sidhe.

The Gentry (sidhe, Tuatha de Danann, etc.) tend to like to be called what they are: Gentry. Ours are made up of mostly Gentry, and don't personally care that they're called "Faeries" or "Fae". Ours don't particularly like being referred to as the "little people" or the "good folk", because they're neither little nor particularly good. Good and Evil are too black and white for most fae, and that bothers them when humans try to categorize them as one or the other. You could also try calling them the "Fair Folk", which they find to be an okay name, but generally I agree with Hineraukatauri: "call us by our names, and let us name ourselves".