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Member | DakotaRisingMoon Windsor, ON, Canada posts 831 7:32 pm June 18, 2010
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Well i dont really like people at school and whenever i go near them they rather say "What are you doing here?!?" and act rude.
and sometimes people imitate me and say " fine ill stop acting gay" ( and im not) and even my sisters call me that , they also call me anorexic and say" youll never get married" etc…
And i've been thinking , that i've been hsving lost of apetite cuz of them and also i wear sweaters all the time ( even in summer) to make myself feel better ( i think it makes me feel safe) . I've been having problems trusting others and whatever people say they never stop. They really bother me but i feel i cant do anything about it.
Also i have a horrible low self esteem because of them. I am really mad and i need help to make them stop , because at the end , i get most pain and they seem like nothing happens.
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Member | CojoTheBozo posts 391 8:17 pm June 18, 2010
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Wow, I'm really sorry about that dante. If people make fun of you because you act flamboyant, then forget them. I know that you're not gay, and you don't have to be gay to be flamboyant and you don't have to be flamboyant to be gay. Maybe you're not even flamboyant, maybe it's just your voice, and even then, there's nothing you can do about it. I've never really been bullied (except for one incident when I was very little), but I can imagine that if it was effecting me that badly I would probably confront them and call them out for being jerks. I don't know any other way to really deal with it without resorting to violence.
Okay, as for your sisters, well I don't know what to tell you about that. Just don't pay attention to them. You decide whether or not you want to get married. I'm pretty sure that you're a boy (although I can't remember for sure) so, all you need to do to get a girlfriend is to find a nice girl who you have something in common with and become friends with her then turn on the charm, throw in a little bit of sweet talk and then you're set, but getting a wife out of that relationship depends on multiple things that I have no experience with yet, so you'll have to find that out on your own. Just be genuine. Don't try to mimic someone who you aren't. Oh yeah, and if you're a girl, don't even pay attention to what I just wrote.
As for your weight and self esteem, then it's a really simple issue to fix. Once again if you're a guy you can just go to a gym and workout or train at home or play any sort of physically demanding sport (but don't be the goalie of any team sport because while they're the most important team members, they do the least amount of exercise per match). And if you're not a boy or if you don't want to workout then just eat more. Eat you're favorite food so much that by the end of the summer you never want to see it again (but then you'll have to work out anyway, regardless of gender in order to stay fit and healthy). Otherwise you might just be an ectomorph. Ectomorphs are people with small frames and have very tough times gaining weight and muscle, but are still completely healthy for their body type.
if all of this fails, then you really shouldn't be talking to us about it. You should talk to your best friend about this, and if even that fails then you're very lucky in this case because you seem to be very knowledgeable in the ways of magic and divination. You've said that your spirit guide guided you through your werewolf/werefox transition, so you seem to be pretty close to him/her. Ask your spirit guide if all else fails…. actually it would be a good idea to ask your spirit guide first because they usually know exactly what to do for every life situation.
Good Luck!
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Admin
| Natalie Lynn posts 1268 1:09 am June 19, 2010
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I'm also very sorry to hear that you are feeling bad Dante–it's not right that some people feel the need to make others feel bad just so they can feel better about themselves. People that do this are really the saddest, most insecure people around and they have to take power from others to feel good about themselves.
The thing is, these kind of people can only take our power if we let them. For this to work we have to buy into what they are saying about us, you know? We have to believe they are right (which they are not).
So, I was wondering why the opinions of these people, who are so mean to you, make you feel so bad, aside from the obvious, of course. I mean, if you think about it, why do they get to be your judge and jury? Are they good, kind, and wise people, or someone that you admire? Are most of them even people you would want to be friends with? It doesn't seem like it, if they say and do half the things you mentioned. So…if they aren't anyone you would want for a friend, why does it matter so much what they think? Why do they have that much power?
You're a magical person Dante, you know about power and how it works, so maybe you could work on raising your power so that you can feel stronger when you are confronted by this kind of stuff. Coming from a position of power instead of fear and dread has got to be a better choice. One of the first ways to do this, is to stop reacting to what others say and giving your power away–just don't take in what they are saying. And, the simple act of working on this magically will make you feel stronger almost immediately.
When I was younger, I had a spiritual teacher that told me “what other people think about me is none of my business” and when I was able to take that in, it really freed me up to move toward being my true, authentic self. When I was looking up that quote today, I happened upon this bit of wisdom by a woman named Patricia Singleton which I think might be useful here ( at least I hope so):
What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business.
“A very wise friend once told me, “What other people think about you is none of your business.” Then she proceeded to tell me that what any body thinks about you comes down through their filters. We all have these filters that we look at life and other people through. Our filters are created by our experiences.
If information comes to a person through their filters and those filters are created by that person's experiences, then what they think about me truly isn't about me. It is about them, not me. If what a person thinks is more about them than it is about me, then it truly isn't my business. Their thoughts are not my business. It is theirs.”
I really hope that deep down, Dante, you know what a wonderful person you are, and I also hope that someday soon you will feel better and truly believe that you're not defined by what other people think you are. When that happens, you will be free to be the powerful person you really truly are.
(Keep your chin up, you can do this!)
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Member | Midnight's Song posts 270 4:58 am June 19, 2010
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Cojo and Natalie have both given really great advice here. I only get to add and emphasize the part about being yourself. Because honestly, apologies for the coarse language, who gives a **** about what they think. They're just weak people for doing this, they're like parasites. By being yourself, you are blocking out their harsh words and you continue to grow in character without having to worry about other people think. If you think about it, it's like gradually turning the volume down on all the bad stuff until it comes to a mute. Chins up, ok?
EDIT: Also, you may also want to fall back into what I call a "safe zone" of friends, the kind of friends that doesn't have the barrier of hostility (trust me, when I mingle, I sense a lot of this within a big group) and will accept you for who you are. It could be your close childhood friends, best friends, whichever. As long as they have the quality to accept the best (and worst) of you, you should be able to drown the negative voices of the bullies.
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Member | DawnFlower somewhere over the rainbow ^.^ posts 49 8:07 am June 19, 2010
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im sorry to hear about this, but seriously, this is great advise they've given you.
i dont know close to anything on this subject, but i can give you advise on the eating thing.
make sure you eat healthy foods with protein, and veggies. eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. between lunch and dinner, have some fruit and then you can have a small candy bar or some other treat you like that makes you happy.
if your having a loss of apetite, you should still eat three healthy meals a day. if you aren't hungrey, then just give yourself smaller portions. (if you think your going to throw up if you eat something, just go do something to get your mind off of it (exercise?), and maybe you'll feel like eating later.
exercise is an important thing in this situation for two reasons: (1)it keeps you fit and all that stuff, and (2)it releases some type of chemical or something in your head that makes you happier (less stressed, angry, sad, etc) so go out for a jog or something next time you're feeling really upset
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Member | DakotaRisingMoon Windsor, ON, Canada posts 831 8:35 am June 19, 2010
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DawnFlower said:
im sorry to hear about this, but seriously, this is great advise they've given you.
i dont know close to anything on this subject, but i can give you advise on the eating thing.
make sure you eat healthy foods with protein, and veggies. eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. between lunch and dinner, have some fruit and then you can have a small candy bar or some other treat you like that makes you happy.
if your having a loss of apetite, you should still eat three healthy meals a day. if you aren't hungrey, then just give yourself smaller portions. (if you think your going to throw up if you eat something, just go do something to get your mind off of it (exercise?), and maybe you'll feel like eating later.
exercise is an important thing in this situation for two reasons: (1)it keeps you fit and all that stuff, and (2)it releases some type of chemical or something in your head that makes you happier (less stressed, angry, sad, etc) so go out for a jog or something next time you're feeling really upset
I'm not afraid to get sick when i eat…
and i did ask my guide and he said similar things..
But these helped alot. So thank you.
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Member
| Lisa A.- Grey Eyes Pennsylvania posts 2506 12:13 pm June 20, 2010
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I agree with everyone's posts here– who have great advice for you!
Don't listen to any of these people– be who you are, because that's why you were created in the first place!
We can't have all clones walking around for crying out loud!
I have people who say I'm a lesbian because I'm not dating anyone or married, and i'm 47 now. You know what I say to that?… lol!!!
I'll let the Faery speak for me:–
Here's a faery encounter I just found on the internet recently that says it well ;-):
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/archi … 31835.html SonicWren 11-05-2009, 08:52 PM Shellybee,you can bet the faeries were singing right along with you,even if you couldn't hear them!….About 7 years ago I decided I wanted to connect with faerie.It took a year of studying books by Brian Froud and his Oracle cards and sending the nature spirits healing and giving them Full Moon offerings every month before I was rewarded with a communication…since then I have have seen a faerie only a few times and always when I was least expecting it and not thinking about it! The most recent time was about 2 weeks ago, I was walking along and noticed a small blue orb to my right by my feet…It was a little thin gnomy faerie and he said 'I have something very important to tell you'… then blew a great big raspberry at me and disappeared!!.…that is pretty much typical of a Faerie encounter!"
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Member | AshenhartKrie A Body, of flesh and blood posts 180 5:47 am July 9, 2010
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i have similar problems. in my case, people call me fat. ignore them. think opf all ther good things in life, u know they are wrong, so tell them so. i laugh it off. i had a severe case were i got beaten up. just walk away, and sit with your friends, the people who like yopu for you.
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Member | DakotaRisingMoon Windsor, ON, Canada posts 831 10:27 am July 9, 2010
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Don't even think about them. Don't let their stupid jokes bother you at all , because if you let go of those, you will accomplish more while they are too busy "bothering" you.
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