Real Fairies

Greetings all, I apologise for being away for a long time. I had to catch up on loads of school work these days, but anyway, it's half done, so I want to take my time to express myself emotionally over here (I'm going to rant a lot so look away if you don't like rants, I'm not offended)

Just to tell the backstory before I rant, I knew this boy since mid-9th grade. He's a nice person, I could tell, even if I wasn't close to him until now. One thing I realised is that my infatuation with him went in circles, one part of me telling me he's nice to have in a relationship, but another voice said no, he doesn't share the same musical interest as me and younger and therefore not compatible, so I followed the second voice of rationing and never got close to actually starting to like him more than a friend.

But now I do.

And I didn't want to listen to the rational voice anymore, I just went with my heart. I haven't confessed yet (that would've been too direct and scary.) But I've left him subtle hints that I like him that way. But today, whilst I was talking about how he should come for a party, he told me that he could be free, but he has a “wife” to have that permission granted. After making a few wild guesses on what he meant by “wife” he explains that he is engaged. That…just ruined my perfect afternoon, but I didn't show that look to him but just asked questions and still acted as if I was fine. But I have no idea what my body language was like, probably really jealous. 

So that's what it's like. I feel jealous. He told me he isn't sure whether he has a crush on her, but they are arranged to be married anyway. I feel sad at the same time too, seeing he's “taken” in a way…so I feel it's like it's too late, but I can't seem to move on yet. I'd love comforting words please, and advice would be great.

It wasn't his decision to get engaged, it was his parents :O

I may probably have  chance, because we both are showing interest in each other's interests (did that sound right?) and that interest is pretty genuine. It's kind of in the state of not too hot and not too cold either. What should I do from here?

Ta gave such excellent advice

And dont' forget- you guys are both young- anything can happen and he is free to change his mind some day.  If it is meant, ask that the door open for the both of you–if not now,then in your future.  If it is not truly the Highest for you both, ask that the doorclose.   

When emotions are stirred, it's hard to think logically about a relationship–  but sometimes quick romances fizzle out.  Maybe it's better to develop a lasting friendshp with this boy–  that can grow deeper into something more later if you are destined to be with him!