Our Forum…

Warning: this post is long.

Well, let me start by saying that my Nana rescued my brother and I from a very abusive situation when we were infants. I don't remember what happened, but it was enough to leave me with PTSD, suffering from scurvy, and with a sever iron deficiency. What I do remember is that in my Nana's house, I saw…things in the dark that terrified me, and my brother had night terrors. I don't know if it was fairies I saw. I thought of them as ghosts and monsters then, but I did see them. I remember that clearly. I remember pointing out a black one with glowing green eyes to my aunt who simply couldn't see it. I also had lucid dreams during this time, which was good because most of them were nightmares; I was able to wake myself up or go into a different dream. The thing is…looking back, I'm not entirely sure they were all bad, whatever they were. Just a feeling I have. My Nana was half Irish, and used to sing me the old folk songs, which I love to listen to and sing now. There were a lot of little doors in that house that my brother and I tried to explore. One of them was on the ceiling, so inaccessible. Another simply wouldn't open. A third we were afraid to go inside for some reason. In the fourth, which was located inside a closet, both of us swear we saw a TV with blue static, but no one ever put a TV in there, and there was no wiring in that area. There was a big backyard with lots of trees and a ditch where we found toads. I always had a strong connection to nature, from picking little sticks and stones to collect as an infant to counting spider webs in the backyard and picking roses for my Nana. A word about spiders…I've never been afraid of them. I love their webs, I routinely rescue them from would-be squashers, and I think they're beautiful.

Well fast-forward much later to when I was fourteen and I sort of rediscovered an interest in fairies first by researching Greek mythology in depth, and by accidentally coming across Brian Froud's Good Fairies/Bad Fairies. I was so enchanted that I sought out other books, and eventually read The Mists of Avalon, which became my favourite book. I started to think maybe it was possible that spirits of nature existed just beyond a veil. Visiting Cornwall once, I swear I saw an inanimate stuffed animal move on its own, and in Costa Rica, I saw a beautiful glowing creature far too big to be a firefly. In my grandmother's (not my Nana; she passed away) garden, we've been getting flowers we didn't plant. A cyclamen one fall, a group of irises last spring, and one of the inside plants seems to have planted its seed into a pot located two rooms away from it. I've read in other encounters that the fairies seem to like places that don't use pesticides, etc.. If that's the case, they live in the right place because we can't stand pesticides and enjoy the wild look to our garden.

But onto what the title of my post indicates, I write fiction, adult fantasy. Several stories floating around my head. Well, I working at a garden centre one summer, daydreaming as I watered the plants, and a story…came to me. It was unlike nothing I'd ever come up with on my own before. In fact, it was so…strange that I figured it was one I might think interesting, but one that would never be written. That fall, I entered second year in College. I had a lot of personal issues going on by then, performed well in school, but nearly starved. I was just not in a good place. But the fall semester ended and the winter snows began and I went back to my grandparents for the holidays. And then…the first night back as I lay in bed with my laptop…that story from the summer came back, but so much more vivid, clear, and magical. Winter was a large part of it and so were spiders. It had starlit candles, a great hall made of living trees, clothes of spider silk, jewelry of ice and water drops, and a lake of dew. And I wrote like I had never written before or since (besides new things added to the story now and then). The characters, they're not…mine. It just…doesn't feel right to call it my story because it feels given. And I felt so free in letting it just flow from my fingers. I've never seen one – a fairy – to my knowledge except for in dreams, but I felt them with me, beautiful, unfathomable creatures of nature, dark and bright.

The humble part of me wants to say that even if fairies do give stories to humans, what makes me think I'm good enough to be one of them? But then…late at night, especially in the winter with snow and moonlight, if I go back to read that story, I feel something of that magic again. I don't know…thoughts anyone? Is this a gift from fairies grateful for my love of spiders maybe? Or fairies wanting me to more fully see the beauty of winter (which used to be my least favourite season)? Or did they want a message to get out? I just don't know…but I know what I feel, and I feel that story isn't mine, but was given to me.

Ah, you're welcome. :) It's difficult to explain to people what I mean when I say it was given to me. You know, as soon as you mention fairies, people start thinking padded rooms and straight jackets…But it's safe to say such things here. I think if it gets published, it'll be okay if I dedicate it to the fairies and say openly that the story was given to me. Published authors seem to be able to do that kind of thing. I'm not quite ready to send it off, though.

When you do have your book published I would love to see it.

Alex, the story isnt yours-they gave it to you — at least the  group of Fae that have been silently with you as you grew up.     You are not being arrrogant by admitting this-  I've had similar things happen to me on a smaller scale-    They want the message out and whomever is open enough with an open heart and soul is the human they can team up with as a channel to reach others.   

I just read your excerpt and love the magic and beauty of it–   Definitely sounds Fae inspired to me!  -

PS-    I have always loved spiders too :-)

@Grey Eyes, I've read about your encounters, so I'm happy to get validation from you. Glad to know you also like spiders. I sometimes call them and other bugs "the wee ones". 

@rush, I'm so happy to have found this site. It really shouldn't have surprised me that a site like this would exist, but I'm glad all the same. Yes, I love reading the old fairy tales, so much less black and white, and more complex. The story given to me certainly isn't limited to the light part of the fairies. Daughters of Eve sounds great! Love the name. ;)

Aww, I like it. :)