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Its times like this, the winding down of everything, every where, everyone, not one of them, anything to say, anything new at least, anything that I'm hearing, just seraching for the right moment, and it breaks through, words, how over years this karma has come and destroyed me, but today it goes away. I don't go outside anymore, I drink the drinks of my home and live a peaceful life, though I know very well, and sometimes more precisely than others, they are out there stalking me, exactly who I do not know, perhaps everyone, yes it is so, so what can I do, as the ouroboros that is my life winds in on itself once more, I am forced to wonder why?
Maybe just one fruitful person, with kindness, open hearted, an artist, a quiet person, but for some reason none of them understood, only the fairies, so here I am, with what was stolen from me, now returning a bit, and I can't say that it was stolen, a musical style, something pure, untouched by modern 'musicality' because it came from everywhere, still, the shamanism is not entirely about the purity of sound, and so I've been lead astray, and it just echoes, and echoes in the peripheral of my hearing, vision, I see the fairies, they offer some comfort, but overall what can I do, knowing now more than ever, these are real forces which I contend with, whom have come to me, and are in the shadows now for reasons unbeknownst to me, doing what they can to destroy my work and ignore my attempts to help, what can I do? The endless prostration must end somewhere, though for sometime I travelled, and I thought myself a mystic, now I see all terms can be applied rather lightly, and if I'm understood then the blessing of great humor has been bestowed upon you. Sometimes it is sad though, here without a cigarette, and without a joint, here, living somewhat of a fruitful existence. I'm not sure what my association with the schizophrenics has down, but they're society is bizarre secretive and in the end rather mundane, veering towards satanism and old antics of past revolutions, ones that were dead before even beginning. Perhaps, we too have fallen into this track, though we consciously acted against it, its difficult, things are destroyed but its okay, when you are pinned as we are, even beauty fades on the horizon of utility, but utility fades on the horizon of beauty, those few and chosen moments where it pours through, unstopped, those are the ones which we call ourselves cultivating, but it must come from something mysterious and unknowable, something that I will not attempt to name here. Pouring out all the music I've ever heard, its harder to hear it now, it seems I've been offered lodging, as long as nothing too crazy happens, no one likes me, where are my friends I wonder, the simple ones, they are long gone all of them broken by the long winded stupidity of society, I take to the hills and sing songs of marijuana, the clouds call me in, all of it fantastical, erratic, unhinged, just give me a moment to gather myself, give me a place where I am understood, it is a substantial request but one that will bear fruit, its just the conditions in which I love and the mindfuck which keeps it there, I need help. Oh well, it probably won't happen, they don't want it to happen, its all too beautiful, so why keep coming and bringing beauty? it doesn't really have much reason, beauty will happen regardless, its just hard when they keep on destroying it, or misunderstanding it, its al very fine and subtle and easy to misunderstand.. just sometimes its difficult, when everything is being watched, and no source is clear, all of them you percieve the way the web works, and no one wants to say anything, perhaps here is where our silences and our grace fail us, at this point where only awkward explanation can be of use
but bless the awkward moments, because from them come the most beautiful things and people and humor, its this coolness and imagined elitism that keeps us down, keeps us divided where there is no true division, but its always been like that, the radical ones on the peripheral, but now that things seem to have eclipse and now the world, at least in my perception is running on in the domain of Faith and intention, so here, I rejoice, I see how the spirits have helped me, yet, a person, the people are always leaving and going, I don't understand this, and I've said it many times, its exciting that suddenly the answer might be made clear, or maybe its the very nature of the roads that I travel, I try to be friends with everything, I would love to go and play music somewhere, so what is stopping me? Nothing, just paranoia, but I can over come that, and not to sound weak, not to sound as if I am not overjoyed at my predicament, when is among this Earth, in ways I cannot imagine, I don't know what to say, everyone wants to be quiet, if I were to speak the complete truth, I would be attacked and when I don't hardly anything happens, so I inch closer and closer towards truth, even barring the use of the word and that is a very difficult place to write from, because its open and up the chance, but chance we can trust I believe, and this is not through the use of magic or even through something fantastic happening, at least traditionally fantastic or wonderful. Its just the simple manifestation of benevolence within the universe. We all do what we can, we end up where we are, we show whatever sides of ourselves we do, and this is what comes from it, its a joke yes, because no one can ever be perfect, the universe is constructed to destroy perfection, and those who cultivate perfection know this inherently and attaining immediately they are destroyed, which is an ode to wayless way. As a person who talks about the way, all I can say is, there is nothing more conducive to it, than music and sometimes music is not sound, but it is just the fluidity of action and the harmony of energies, working together to get past a level. I see I am lodged within this world in a way not many understand, and its somewhat of a fight, not all of you reading can understand this because you don't know and I would hate to cause more fights than the one I am in now, just by speaking of a conflict, and I would like to end the fight which is happening right at this moment, but this is hard to do, seeing as no one will willingly admit what is going on, and so I know not the true source and perhaps there are many… but in the end, is fighting not the true mystical culmination of both Love and Dance, again the ones who go so far as to eclipse even themselves, as I write I stop and am careful not to sway things in the wrong direction because as a writer I feel I have this control, but really I have very little control because this is simply the universe, secondhand

as a catalyst of change, I guess I was meant to be here, at this time to speak my particular brand of whateverisms

is it true? really i dont gaurantee any of it, nor will i say its not true, its just what i write

please stop destroying my writings, please stop throwing away the trash, the sounds of wisdom judgement of good things happening on the borders or rage and egotistical drama no one ever understanding must keep their own ways hidden and s

hrouded, while i am i the open naked as can be, until they come, just people, people with random minds to say their hearts and whatever, how can i say this is not the true you, i don't know, really i don't

i can assume that there is love, everything is love, its what i've done for a long time

but i see my writings are destroyed and so much wierdness, and i don't know

i don't understand love, that is one thing thats true but it seems simple at the same time, attraction, i'd rather not use the phrases of this place becuase i dont understand and eventually i must, eventually but until then its just me and all who

 see this

here and w

hat they make of it and the silence of everything else and the passing of time and the dance which is life

never give up, this is the teaching of the letter Z, and Z is a letter

a great letter

because it zigs and zags

its just sad when your friend is not your true friend, and everyone else they dont understand how you could be on sucha tangent so no one will say anything

i cry often and watch the water go,, i look into shadows and sow the seeds of light, i eat park benches and acorns

i roast marshmellows in the moonlight

wow, theres so much to do out in the world

so much to talk about

so in my apathy and passion have i merely become a vehicle for the very fascism which i originally rallied against.. hopefully not, i just don't know whats up with those dudes, so i can't be said to represent anything… i can only represent myself and my people…

i met an australian shaman

and i learned about the rainbow serpent, which i think is interesting, but still i do not know much, but the rainbow serpent is interesting… maybe its in the magic of images like this that good can be done, the rainbow serpent, probably of so many forms, in so many ways, restoring the earth once again

Yomo restoring the earth, Earth restoring herself….

in a bomb of love so pure, a bomb of love and light, not hurting, when it explodes we will all awaken to the truth, and we'll smile to everything around us and we'll speak with our true hearts and be who we came to this world to be, forget all this lollygagging and false coolness, a love bomb which opens us up to the possibilities, like an atom bomb in reverse, so perhaps like a mushroom, but not necessarily…

that makes it all worth it, and rights all the wrongs, a bomb of forgivance and of wisdom to cease our pointless fueds… why?

i do not know… why? we all must grow and learn and make mistakes and fall

i wish i had a band who wanted to sing about that.. like goodness.. in a free way, but its all so tense

i meann it all must be so in this moment, eff it, has beat poetry shown us nothing, were the hippies simply ignored, have we only extracted the music and nothing else, i don't think thats even possible, but i guess its a strange time, really it has not been that long, i keep remembering that..

and we're here together, and we are here

i am you you are me… the beatles… everybody

oyster resurrection pts 1 + 2

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RENUYJBC

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FL08S5ZN

thats flo summoning oyster and generally animal plant and nature love as the pine has fallen, but its spirit lives on forever and returns where it need be

….pomo saiyazen

aye, there she blows again, and she comes upon all types and she swallows them in her comfy stomach all full of marigolds and daisies and she takes them to the moon, where all the angels sit and discuss tea time topics upon craters and wide big eyes

i once knew an angel, a liar and a drunk, his name shall not be mentioned here, but many of the others, how delightful is the sun when they beam in like the friends which they are,

when the cat is in the tree and the sun is high in the sky, you know where i'll be, andthat is not asking why

because if i must die, leave me no pie and no red dye

if i must die then i shall sigh and the cat may fly but this bread it rye

and i saying goodbye

i am walking into the walls, overall, they are friends as well, and these chairs, they can bring back an intellectual innocence which i have missed since my flagrant youth,

in this wood of infinity, i was roaming and i found many things, i found trees and caterpillars, i wore nothing but the grass and i ate nothing but the berries

perhaps i was a fool, the lambs do bray now, and mr idnees has gone away to the festival, my heart is a flutter and i've lost all sensation in my left knee, the fairies are upon me!

struggling to maintain consciousness i leap onto the ceiling, professing an undying love

but the ceiling was not a ceiling, indeed, they were the roots of mandrakes and they spoke to me

and they said, love, love love

i said love

we walked around in circles and we drank the rivers juice

many things passed through my body, flo brought a hammock then and we slept, i was glad she returned

as we were floating away, and the waves grew bigger, i grew more peaceful

finally out of a pouch came three golden azealeas

i said what marvelous luck the three golden azealeas ive been wishing for, then we went to the store and bought seeds

the seeds fell it was very introspective for me, i remember feeling sensations of disbelief because to me seeds where things which would only float

and float on they would into an everlasting simplicity

known as vasudeva… but i got over it, and onward into the forest where there was a bear

the bear was happy and we frolicked with him, his name was Unt

Unt spoke of a deep mystery that was hidden within a nearby clearing, and he said whenever he went there, there were lights and sounds

i said, sounds like the fae…

i was quiet then

because i know i was answering a bear

i leaped into the sky and drew three oranges

which shocked the bear, then we disappeared to jupiter

while there, things got pretty personal and many worlds were saved

after the campfire, we ate the finest berries

we didn't have any qualms 

flo suggested a bit of spelunking along the cities

and with a bit of nature's magic we were off, powered by moonlight, our newfound wings

and a feeling of not caring

a long city it was surely, for there i wrestled with the coyote for some time

until a buddhist monk came and was kind enough to join us

our wrestling became a most profound dance around a circle of pop cans

and many people joined in

afterwards, everyone was happy and i slipped into the shadows

flo had followed me, but i almost wished she hadnt

i was going to rundevery

a place that is sometimes unknown

i knew no one would be aware if i slipped away at that point, me and flo met

by chance i said

who are you

she said i am flo

i said i must climb now

she said i collect twigs

when i came back, though i was large, i was able to slip into the twigs and use them as a temple

there we worshipped together for many years until finally

everything was perfect

after that i cried and i went around shouting random things

no one looked at me or noticed, i was very polite and helped old ladies cross the street

flo went on many expiditions into the unknown to this day her stories imbue me with a sense of powerful interalinse

internal lense

in one such expidition she had run across a company of dragons, and offeringher skill as a healer she went about healing them because they were kindly

as soon as they were healed they turned on flo and she flew into the sun

the cows sang their magic song and all was well then

i said if i was there i would have fought them off, take me back to them, and we went back and the dragons explained it was only part of a game and we actually all spoke together for some time after the wierdness was cleared up

i told them about my past as a sailor, they were impressed

they promised to explain more clearly their games before they begun them next time, to avoid undo fright and misunderstanding

i asked them for help to restore the oysters

they said okay… we all walked away feeling happy and fulfilled

etc.

what had changed was fairies had taken everything over and the humans were living in fear

i said why has this happened, and i was kind of shocked, but then flo explained to me none of the people who lived in this place were actually humans there was just a spell on all of them, so then i was happy

soon things settled down to normal though and the changes seemed less huge, i forgot what life was like before actuallly

i had five peices of toast every morning

finally i had had enough

i exclaimed: "ENOUGH!"

OYSTER RESURRECTION!